Do as you desire and live

Hi, my name is Tonje and I'm from Norway. My blog is like a potpourri of Supernatural, Destiel, cats and humor.


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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (10x03 sneak peek)

'Bout time Sam had a wake-up call.  Maybe realized the whole world doesn't revolve around him…that maybe he's the reason they live such a shit life.

I’m sorry (I’m not sorry) but, what? In what sense is Sam responsible for the misery of their life?

Let’s go through some of the ACTUAL reasons their life sucks, shall we? And I’m limiting this to the things that effect both of them so that this list isn’t just unreasonably long.

  1. A demon murdered their grandparents, manipulated their mother into making a deal, and then later murdered their mother when they were little, as well as having anyone who could have told them anything about her killed.
  2. Their father raised them in an unstable, violent life and drilled into them that loyalty to family was the most important thing, and that loyalty to family meant unquestioningly obeying his orders. This fucked them both up, though in different ways.
  3. That same father ran out on them and withheld information from them about the very demon that he had raised them to believe it was their PURPOSE IN LIFE to hunt down.
  4. After demons caused a car crash that would have been fatal to Dean, their father made a deal so that he died instead, leaving them alone and grieving. He also, bonus, gave Dean a scrap of terrible information about Sam right before he died, which was fucked up on many many levels.
  5. Sam was killed because the demon that had already killed/ordered the killing of pretty much their entire family was running his own version of the Hunger Games.
  6. Dean made a demon deal to bring Sam back, which landed him in hell. When he comes back, he has to live with the memories of what was done to him, and what he did, while there.
  7. Angels and demons lied and manipulated both brothers into breaking the first and last seals, thus freeing Lucifer so he and Michael could bring on the Apocalypse.
  8. Demons/hellhounds kill Jo and Ellen, who are basically family.
  9. They then had to fight both angels and demons in order to save the whole world, and in the end Sam had to jump into the Cage to be tortured by two royally pissed-off Archangels while Dean had to stay behind and try to move on.
  10. Cas got too big for his britches and tried to rescue Sam from the Cage, but brought him back without his soul.
  11. Cas teamed up with Crowley and manipulated/coerced the Campbells and soulless!Sam and eventually Dean into helping them find purgatory.
  12. Monsters kill the Campbells, who may have ranged from pretty all right to shady as fuck but they were family.
  13. Monsters also kill Rufus, one of the few people on the boys’ ever-shortening list of friends and allies.
  14. When Dean found out Sam was alive, he was not longer able to be happy in the more or less normal life he was living with Lisa and Ben, so he got back on the road and started hunting again with soulless!Sam.
  15. Sam gets his soul back and has to deal with what he did while soulless, which includes a lot of guilt because soulless did some seriously fucked-up things.
  16. They figure out Cas has been lying to them, Ben and Lisa get hurt, Dean decides that the solution to that is to have Cas mess with their memories, which is both a huge violation of them and a way to slam the door on that avenue to normality forever.
  17. Cas smashes the wall protecting Sam from his Cage memories, incapacitating him and making it so Sam has to deal with horrible memories and intense hallucinations.
  18. Cas opens purgatory and lets the Leviathan in, does a really terrible job of being God, and then basically dies.
  19. Dick Roman kills Bobby, who has been their father-figure for forever and was also basically their only friend who they talked to consistently.
  20. Sam’s hallucinations get so bad that he literally cannot sleep and he almost dies. Cas, alive as it turns out, saves him at the last moment. The hallucinations are gone, but the hell memories aren’t.
  21. They take out the Leviathan, but Dean and Cas get blasted into purgatory and Kevin and Meg get captured by Crowley in the process. Sam, devastated and alone because he believes Dean and Cas are dead, gets out of hunting and, like Dean did after Sam jumped in the cage, finds a little happiness and normality with Amelia and Riot.
  22. Sam’s relationship ends, and then he finds out Dean is alive and back from purgatory, so they start hunting together again.
  23. Sam undertakes the Trials so they can close hell forever.
  24. Crowley kills a bunch of people they saved years ago in an attempt to get them to stop the Trials.
  25. Metatron, henceforth to be referred to as King Douchecanoe, manipulates Cas into closing heaven and chucking all the angels to earth. Meanwhile, Dean decides that he can’t let Sam die even if it means slamming the gates of hell, so Sam stops the final trial at the last minute.
  26. Dean tricks Sam into saying yes to an angel in order to save Sam’s life. He then proceeds to lie to Sam for months, to the point where Sam is questioning his sanity and wondering if maybe there’s just something fundamentally wrong with him.
  27. The angel turns out to be shady as fuck and uses Sam’s body to murder Kevin, once again shortening their very short list of friends.
  28. They kick out the angel, Dean bails because he doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of his actions, and Cas does his best to heal Sam physically while only partially succeeding at providing the emotional support Sam needed at the time.
  29. Dean, despite the warnings of Cain himself, takes on the Mark so he can kill Abaddon, thus setting out on a downward spiral of aggression and violence.
  30. King Douchecanoe kills Dean and Crowley brings him back as a demon. demon!Dean runs off with Crowley, leaving Sam hurt and grieving and confused.

Yes, clearly Sam thinks he’s the center of the universe and clearly their sucky life is his fault. It’s just so obvious.


Taking NO SHIT, today. 

Go Sam Girls go. 

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"Ladies don’t start fights, but they can finish them!"

The Aristocats (1970)

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Shut up and check this gif !



23yo!Dean in 10x02 Reichenbach

photo myemotionsmyemotions.gif

In an episode where we have finally seen the tragic and demonic result of Dean’s toxic co-dependency, we’re treated to this moment.  Dean at 23 wears the symbols of his father, John’s leather jacket, John’s style of clothing, the amulet given to Dean by Sam which was once intended for John (and given to Dean because of the way in which Dean fulfilled the role that John was supposed to hold), maybe even John’s knife.  We’re reminded, so vigorously, of John’s specter and the hold he had over his son.  

Dean was trained from childhood not only as a soldier, but as one who had little worth, not when compared with his brother, or the mission.  Now, we’re seeing the result of that abuse and inadequate parenting in Dean becoming a demon.  Dean accepting the Mark of Cain can be read as a slow suicide, a depression triggered through the guilt over Kevin’s death, which was caused by Dean’s inability to let go of his brother.  That inability to let go was drilled into him from the age of four by his father.  That sense of low self-worth that allowed him to accept the Mark of Cain is caused, in part, by the fact that Dean prioritizes the mission (in this case, the death of Abaddon) over himself.

Having young Dean appear in this episode, where Dean finally announces “I’m a demon,” dressed in all those symbols of his father, it’s a visceral reminder of what set Dean on the path to becoming a demon.  Crowley may have been the one who unleashed him, but John was the one who set him on that path so many years ago.

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if we can’t protect the earth you can be damn sure we’ll avenge it!

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did we ever stop kony


Reichenbach // 10x02

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Close your eyes. Close them. Now describe what you see. (Dead Poets Society 1989)

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And be forever with my poison arms around you.

No one’s gonna fool around with us.

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